Some cars seem to smile at you.  Others look shyly away, trying to fade into the woodwork.  And a few, like the 2000 Toyota Celica GT-S, seem to sneer menacingly while taking a long drag from a stubby cigarette and daring you, just daring you, to keep staring.

That bold, brash face is there for a good reason.  Sports coupes live a hard life in an overcrowded market that seems to be driven by ADD.  Falling even slightly out of style can spell death for a model, no matter how good a car it is.  “Be noticed or die” is the motto, and it’s a credo to be ignored at one’s peril, as cars like the VW Corrado, Nissan 240, Ford Probe, Eagle Talon, Nissan NX2000, Geo Storm and Isuzu Impulse can attest.

The Toyota Celica has flourished in this market, primarily through a process of regular reinvention.  Its various incarnations have ranged from tarted-up economy car, to understated sports coupe, to rally hero, to poseur, and now it’s all-new again.  The previous-generation Celica was something of a letdown in the performance and drama department, and so the new car has addressed that point in spades.  Looking not unlike a cross between an enraged cat and a massive, futuristic Rollerblade, the 2000 Celica stands poised to take on all comers.

The Celica’s new face ensures that drivers of the GT-S model will appear to be prowling the streets looking for a fight.  Sharp angles, wheels pushed to the corners of the car, and a wide stance give the Celica a pulled-taut look.  It’s a very complex design; for the first few days of the test, we saw a new angle every time we walked around the car.  The triangular headlights bulge up slightly, making space for foglights inside the unit and adding some relief to the hood.  The wheels are a classic five-spoke performance design, and the brake hardware is clearly visible through them, emphasizing the Celica’s purpose in life.  A tight, arched crease starts around the A-pillar and arcs through the body of the car to the back, terminating at the high, squared-off tail.  The vertical seams of the hatchback’s lid define the square taillights’ shape, and then carry down into the bumper to give the Celica’s tail an upright, chopped-off look reminiscent of a dog with a cropped tail.  A squared-off spoiler, optional on the GT-S, completes the look.

The interior is a far cry from the small, personal-luxury bent of the previous Celica.  Drab plastics are replaced by a riot of shapes and colors that wrap tightly around driver and passenger.  It’s almost as snug as a Miata, but is definitely less friendly.  The Celica is a fighting car, if such a thing exists.  Orange-lit gauges–analog for speedo and tachometer, digital for the ancillaries–fill the display in front of the driver, and the nicely textured wheel begs to be held with both hands.  The shifter is directly under the driver’s right hand, ready to be snapped into action.  The seats are strongly bolstered, almost like racing seats.  They’re comfortable enough for long drives, but tend to leave passengers feeling as if they’ve shed an article of clothing upon climbing out.  The back seat is a cage; what passengers do fit can barely see out the tiny rear windows.  Unless you have very small friends, the Celica is best kept a two-passenger car.  The cargo area is very well done.  A net and bins ensure that nothing’s going to slide around.  The heavy hatchback can be hard to close firmly.  The six-speed transmission features a backup alarm, which chimes to let the driver know the car is in reverse rather than first gear.  It’s a nice touch, especially because backing up is one of the hardest things to do in a Celica.  That high tail and slim rear windows cut visibility behind the car to a sliver.  Our test car was also equipped with the optional sunroof, whose sliding, two-piece shade seemed a bit flimsy.  Otherwise, though, the Celica’s interior is as intricately detailed and well-executed as the exterior.

But enough of a design analysis:  where the Celica GT-S really wants to be, of course, is in motion, and it’s not going to respect you until you’re rough with it.  Run the 1.8-liter DOHC four up to 7000 rpm.  Go ahead.  You won’t hurt it.  The power kicks back in around 6300.  It’s not the greatest singer, but the raspy note at high rpms turns heads.  That long powerband and high redline are thanks in part to Toyota’s VVTL-i system, which uses a computer to increase the valve lift at high rpm.  This boosts the four-cylinder’s output, just when it needs it.  All in all it’s good for 180 horsepower, which is more than enough to keep it in the game against rivals like the 170-hp Acura Integra GS-R  Lesser sports coupes will see a lot of the Celica’s squared-off rear end.

Power is put to the wheels through a six-speed manual transmission.  The six-speed and VVTL-i allow the Celica to be hammered comfortably in third or fourth on roads that normally require much more shifting.  If you do decide to shift, heel-toeing the six-speed takes getting used to.  We never managed to.  Shifts can be a little bit notchy, and the clutch action is on the heavy side.  The addition of the tall sixth gear also allows for relatively sedate freeway cruising.  But to be honest, the Celica is never “sedate.”  It wants to go, go, go, and begs to be hammered at eight-tenths or better all of the time.  The urgency can get a little bit nerve-wracking in day-to-day traffic.  Even with the available automatic transmission, Formula One-style shifting paddles mounted on the steering wheel urge the driver to wring every last bit of performance out of the car.

True to its fighting-car mission, the Celica is easy to drive fast.  Fat 16″ wheels and a performance-enhanced suspension, coupled with the laid-back driving position and good front visibility, make it easy to feel what the car is up to.  It’s very tossable, and it wants to be tossed.  Corners and fast on-ramps can be attacked with the greatest of ease. The Celica is a top-flight companion in this regard.  It’s a little oversteery when pushed, which is surprising in a front-wheel-drive car, but easier to correct than understeer.  The grip is good, surprisingly so, but the Celica is easily upset by road wrinkles.

In keeping with the Celica’s driving-oriented mission in life, the frills are kept to a minimum.  The requisite CD-equipped stereo sounds great, and Toyota’s control layout is very easy to use.  ABS and side airbags are optional.  AC and cupholders more or less comprise the rest of the amenities.  The 2000 Celica is available in GT and GT-S models.  The GT gets a less frenetic, 140-hp version of the GT-S’ high-strung four-cylinder.  Pricing for the hot GT-S starts at $21,165.  Our test car was equipped with the optional sunroof and rear spoiler, and stickered for $24,669.

All specs are for the 2000 Toyota Celica GT-S, which we tested.

Length:    170.5 in.
Width:        68.3 in.
Height:        51.4 in.
Wheelbase:    102.4 in.
Curb weight:    2,500 lb.
Cargo space:    16.9 cu.ft.
Base price:    $21,165
Price as tested: $24,669

Engine:    1.8 liter 16-valve four-cylinder
Drivetrain:     six-speed manual, front-wheel-drive
Horsepower:    180 @ 7600 rpm
Torque:    130 @ 6800 rpm
Fuel capacity:    14.5 gal
Est. mileage:    23/32

6/2009 update: There don’t seem to be many Celicas out there any more; high attrition and purchase by indifferent owners has probably taken their toll.  The curious styling, which graduated quickly from “unique and aggressive” to “weird,” probably hasn’t helped.